Day 29: I am not Perfect!

Yay! I slept through the night..first time in a week.

Last week I was sick with allergies or a cold. I still worked and functioned fine, just wasn’t a hundred percent. And definitely didn’t sleep well due to the drainage and stuffiness, all at the same time.

Sunday late night (or Monday early, early morning) I woke up with some sort of stomach bug. Normally I would have still pushed myself and worked all day even though I felt terrible.

Part of Finding My Way is understanding my strengths and weaknesses…a theme throughout these 31 Days.

A strength, but also a weakness, is the manner in which I push myself. I usually push myself to extremes.

But this challenge has helped me. My running was the first example of both understanding and learning that it is ok…that I don’t have to push myself all the time. I realized that while running is good for me, I don’t have to train for a marathon. I can just run because its healthy, both physically and mentally.

Yesterday was another good example of learning that its ok to not push. I was sick. Because I had been sick last week, although, again, not on my death bed, and because Andreas leaves for Trinidad for a couple of days and I have Emma, I didn’t need to do more than I should. I could take a sick day and get better. Life wasn’t going to stop. Most times, I have to be on my death bed in order to do that. That was not the case yesterday. But while I was definitely not good, I could have worked. And if I am being honest, I did some. But I forced myself to only do what needed to absolutely be done.

I have that same issue when I take vacation. I work throughout the vacation, most times. But I am learning that I don’t have to be superwoman. Its ok to take a step back and relax.

I still don’t feel a hundred percent. And I expect, based on the stomach cramps that I am already having, that it will still be a tough day. But if I need to, I will take a break. I will manage the things that have to be done and do them well, but I will relax and remind myself that its not always healthy to push myself too much.

I am not going to proofread this one at all. I am sure you will notice with the choppy sentences, random thoughts and repetitive vocabulary. I just let my thoughts flow freely. But this part of the process with being ok with less than perfect.

While I know that I am not perfect, that is the persona that I have wanted to create for most and is the standard for me. That is the problem…I want to be perfect and I have strived for that all my life.

Its ok…I don’t have to be.

Wow…I said that aloud.

With that…I leave you for the day!

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