Gratitude Challenge Day 20

Respect Button from Affirm Your Life

Definition of Respect

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I’m writing about this one today because I have been dealing with a person in which I do not respect and therefore have difficult being around.  It has affected me more than I would like because…

1. I feel bad about myself…why should I dislike someone that much.
2. I don’t want to be around that person so much that it has precluded me from participating in things.
3. I have these anger feelings that I can’t seem to shake.

Why do I dislike this person so much?  Why do I have such little respect for someone.  The reality is that everyone deserves respect.  I don’t like to know that I am not respected.  But this individual is so frustrating.  They need to feel important.  They need to feel like they are in the middle of everything.  They have this need to control everything.

But additionally…I don’t like how this person talks out of one side of their mouth, but yet does something different.  I don’t like the way they discipline their children.  And I don’t like that they have lied to me.

I see this 30 year old kid.  Someone who has little respect for authority.  Little respect for others.  And rebels or reacts to get a rise out of others because they feel like they can.

So what?!?!   Why does that bother me so much?

Because I have been the recipient of that attempt to control, heard first hand the lies, felt the lack of respect and am annoyed at just the need to feel so darn important.  Above all, however, I have seen my child take on some of the characteristics that are unbecoming of the children.  The lack of discipline for the children has caused them to say and do things to my child without repercussions.  Amazing.

I discipline my child and she is to treat others respectfully.  She does not get to say and do what she wants.   While she is a pretty good kid, she does make mistakes and has to be corrected….part of growing up…learning.

But honestly…should it cause so much anger in my soul?  Should I let it bother me so much that I have opted to not participate in things?!?

NO!

The answer should be no!  I need to get over it and not feel so much anger towards that person.  I may not need to respect them, but I need to get past these feelings.

There are some good things about this person that I can focus on.  And I will start to focus on those positives.

More important, though, is that I need to not feel bad about having these feelings.  My feelings are just that and they don’t make me a bad person.

I don’t dislike very many people.  I think some of it has been the state of mind that I am in.  If you read yesterdays article, Gratitude Challenge Day 18, then you were given a glimpse into my struggles.

When one is negative, you find negative all around.

Today I am done with harboring these ill feelings.  Today I am moving on!  Today I am going to learn to love. Ok…let’s be real…I won’t ever love this person, but I will look for the kindness in both that person and myself…focus on the positive and not the negative.

Just writing about it…I feel so much better.  I feel lighter.

So what am I Grateful for today?  These 3 things…

1. Love or Kindness.  That I am made of those qualities.  I think that’s why this has been such a difficult situation for me.  Because I don’t like to feel any other emotions for someone and when I have felt negative ones, I thought I might be a bad person.  Its ok.  I’m not bad.  My feelings are my feelings.  But I will focus on trying to be more kind to them and to find the kindness in them (as I know it exists).
2. Respect.  I know how to respect and am respected.
3. This blog.  It has given me an outlet.  I don’t get truly REAL often here.  Not “to the core real” as I have these past two days.  But I do feel better since having written my thoughts.

I do hope that writing these articles and thoughts is helping someone.  I know its helping me.  Thank you!

Click Here for the complete 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.